by Congratulations! Your young adult just graduated from high school and is now a TJC Apache! They are starting a new chapter in their life, and so are you. Helping your student transition from high school to college comes with its own set of challenges for parents.
In my role as a counselor, I have had the opportunity to walk parents through this transition. Along the way, I’ve picked up a few tried-and-true tips for parents of new college students. Mom and Dad, you’ve got this!
Cultivate positive thoughts.
Emotions develop from thoughts. Therefore, positive thoughts will grow positive feelings. Try shifting non-positive thoughts into a more positive mode. An example would be taking a thought like “Ashley is not here anymore,” and shifting it into a positive thought such as “Ashley is happily pursuing college life and her dream career.”
Acknowledge that adjustments are a process.
You and your young adult may have to walk through grief and/or homesickness for a little while as you adjust. But more importantly, expect to exit out of that place into a destination of success and comfort.
Balance your communication and involvement.
You and your new Apache are both going through a time to claim “new space” in your life. New routines, new activities, me-time, friend-time and parent-time are all elements that can have time slots in a smartphone planner app. Have a conversation about how often you will talk (and how) so that everyone is on the same page with expectations and no one experiences the extremes of feeling crowded or overly lonely.
Support your new Apache’s independence.
Allow them to solve the problems of daily life. Listen to their problems and help them figure out the solutions to problems but allow them to respond independently. This helps them develop their sense of self.
Find ways to cope that work for you.
Things that work for one person may or may not work for another person. Think of things that have helped you successfully cope with other issues in the past and reuse those skills. Perhaps you also need to research and make a list of new coping methods to try. Exercise, taking part in a favorite hobby and journaling are popular methods.
Set some short-term goals and celebrate when you achieve them.
Write down what you want to change, what it will look like when it does change, and the date by which you want to see that change occur. Remember to also note how you will celebrate that goal when you achieve it. It is important to look forward to positive things.
We are honored that your student is starting their college journey with us. You’ve been their number one fan their whole lives, and we love getting to cheer alongside you. This transition might be tough, but it will lead to your new Apache feeling successful and satisfied as they pursue their career. Welcome to Apache Nation!
